Last night was filled with even more of my favorite 3 C’s: crying, cat fights, and cleavage. Here are my top 10 favorite moments.
10. Kacie B’s Baton Twirling Routine
I love Kacie B. just as much as the next guy, but the baton twirling was a little overboard on the cheese scale.
My favorite moment was when she said, “This is only the beginning…I don’t even know what’s going to happen next.” I do. Cue the baton twirl fail videos.
Here’s one of my personal favorites. Skip ahead to the 0:20 mark.
9.Everyone Hates Blakeley
You’re right, Blakeley, everyone is just really jealous of you. That’s why they say things like “Blakeley is super fakeley” behind your back and all get up and walk off when you come back from the hot tub.
And to think Ben can’t see through this slutty candystriper…
8. There’s Something “There” Between Courtney and Ben
If we have to hear Courtney blabber on and on one more time about how she and Ben just “have it”, I personally will puke.
“I can see the way he looks at me and there’s something there. It’s undeniable it’s there.”
I think she’s been practicing this line since before she was cast for the show.
7. Sonoma is Kinda Like Oklahoma City
Jennifer tells Ben that being in Sonoma reminds her of being back home in Oklahoma City.
Last time I checked, this is what Sonoma looked like:
And this is what Oklahoma City looks like:
6. Everyone Still Hates Blakeley
Blakeley broke the cardinal rule of the cocktail party before the final rose – if you already have a rose, you never, ever, ever, under any circumstances (well unless you need to reassure Ben that you still have feelings for him after a recent breakdown post rose), steal him away. And to steal him away twice??? Completely unacceptable. And skanky. And desperado.
5. Courtney Isn’t Attracted to Anyone in LA
Courtney tells Ben the reason she’s been single for so long is because she’s picky and because she “doesn’t meet guys in LA she’s attracted to.” I know, I get it. As a fellow Angeleno, I can attest that there are no good looking guys in Los Angeles. Except maybe this guy…
Or this guy…
Or maybe him…
But surely not him…
GET OVER YOURSELF, COURTNEY.
4. Jenna is Not a Girl
Cuckoo Jenna reminds us that she’s “not like a girl, if that makes any sense.” Totally.
Her breakdowns this evening were difficult for even me to watch. What was she thinking???
Side note: Is it actually 2:04 am? I’d probably be sleeping, too.
3. It’s Foggy in Sonoma
I think the special effects guys are getting bored.
2. Jaclyn’s Wig is Epic
and the #1 moment of the evening goes to…
1. Genius Kid Director FTW
Blakeley knows that “a lot of girls are competin’ for Ben’s attention”, so she takes a bold move that is sure to get Ben’s attention (hey, it works in the
strip club VIP lounge every time).
God bless these kids and their parents for allowing them to make my night.
And a special shout-out to the super horny kid who wanted Blakeley to “run in slow motion” for her audition. You deserve an Academy Award, my friend.
Tell us: what were your favorite nights of the evening?