Posted by Danielle
Well we’re only one episode into the new season of The Bachelorette, and big points have already been awarded!
This week, Emily gave Doug the first impression rose for 300 points, Michael gave Emily a guitar pick for 100 points, and Jackson took his shirt off after the final credits for a douchebag moment that made someone 200 points richer.
Congrats to Anna Johnson, Chrystal Zimmerman, and Sakura Cosidine who are tied for the lead with 500 points!
Posted by Mary
Spotted: Emily Maynard with hopeful fiance #1 of 4 on the Michigan Avenue bridge today in downtown Chicago.
XOXO,
ATR
Posted by Danielle
All I have to say is last night has been the most exciting episode of this sub-par season. And here are a few of the highlights…
10. Bitches be all up ons Ed.
Ed as the next Bachelor???
9. Wait, who’s hooking up?
Our favorite contestant of all time Hey Mickey (well mine anyway, besides Reid) is hooking up with Cristina (who?) from Andrew’s season.
Jon from Ashley’s season is hooking up with Stacey from Brad 2.0′s season (match made in heaven obviously).
And Kasey Kahl is hooking up with Lisa P., also from Brad 2.0′s season (because she looks nothing like Vienna).
I’m still processing all of this…
8. Reid is back, and he’s hotter and snarkier than ever.
I love you, Reid.
7. Ali & Frank: Can they reconcile?
This will never, ever, ever work.
6. Erica is still hilarious.
“It was probably hard for Ali to see Frank because she was dumped by him for a younger girl, and she wasn’t really looking her best…” – Erica
5. Blakeley calls girls “small-minded”…
…yet she has never, ever said anything bad about any of them.
Blakeley, get off your high horse (no pun intended).
4. Emily’s boobs tell all.
3. Brittney yo no quiero Taco Bell.
We haven’t heard two words out of her mouth all season, but I was totally impressed by her smackdown on Samantha, referring to her as the house chihuahua.
2. Erica is sorry about the thighs comment… kind of.
I was proud of Shawntel for stating that she didn’t care if the ladies called her a b****, but that she wouldn’t stand for the negative comments about her body image. Erica graciously apologized sort of, but then made some weird comment about how it’s okay because she also has big hips herself. Huh?
1. Courtney’s pathetic breakdown.
This is the fakest cry I’ve seen…
…well, since this:
Posted by Mary
Posted by Mary
So we spent Episode 7 in Belize with Ben and the 6 remaining ladies last week. Does anyone remember what happened the last time we went to Belize?
Yes, another clueless guy fell for another crazy maneater. Things obviously haven’t changed in the Bachelor story of love, 12 seasons later.
Also, why is ABC REUSING exotic locations???? That is low rent. They need to send their marketing team out to secure some new all-inclusive resort sponsors, and they’d better be even more remote and exotic this time around – because scenery shots are at least 50% of the appeal of this show.
So with that, back to Belize! Here were my top 10 picks for best moments of Episode 7:
10. Lindzi Says S*&!balls
I didn’t know that these words existed in Lindzi’s world of horses and fairy tales. Also, does anyone else feel like they know nothing about Lindzi at this point? Can’t wait to find out more in her hometown date.
9. Lindzi and Ben Write a Fairy Tale on their Date
Of course this was Lindzi’s suggestion. And then they proceed to dramatically seal the fairy tale into a dirty plastic bottle and litter our planet’s ocean waters by tossing it in for some tourist or bird to find days later.
8. Ben Continues to Choose Dirty, Labor Intensive Dates for the Women
7. Courtney attempts to show emotion
When in reality, this is just the point in the season when all women are legally bound in their contracts with ABC to cry and say “I’m falling for him” at least once on screen, or else they go home.
But those fake tears come to halt very quickly because………………..
6. Courtney has no girlfriends and is “The Talent”
Overall, I found this dinner conversation to be incredibly awkward and revealing for Ben. Maybe there is hope after all!
My favorite quote of the episode was during this dinner:
Ben: “You’re not getting along with any of these women. How does this apply to real life – can you not connect with others in high pressure situations?”
Courtney: “Do you KNOW what my job is like?! I’m THE TALENT. I have to make everyone happy. I am really well rounded and can adapt to anything. I’m not impressed by these women, or girls, they’re just not worth it.”
5. Rachel successfully dominates the group date by exaggerating her fear of sharks
4. Kacie B. Drops the First L-Bomb of the Season, Secures Group Date Rose and First Hometown Date
3. Courtney believes that Ben is not the only guy in the world – this infuriates Emily
2. The Courtney Intervention
1. Midnight Shaving Party
Posted by Danielle
I’m really sorry to keep writing the SAME blog post over and over, but really – every top 10 list I write is another list of reasons why I can’t stand Courtney, plus a few other random things for good measure. So here it goes…
10. Courtney’s tattoo art shows that she’s definitely not more mature than a 5th grader
Courtney has absolutely no boundaries, which is why I hate her. She has no respect for the other girls on the date, and no respect for Ben either. I mean, how is Ben supposed to make out with one of the other girls with this ridiculous tattoo on his back?
9. Emily is a saint, Courtney still a biyatch
When Emily apologized, I really fell in love with her. That apology was way over the top and not necessary, but God bless her for having a good heart and being willing to acknowledge her faults. Thankfully for the producers, there is still plenty of drama this season, as Courtney is not willing to forgive and forget. She “doesn’t take being disrespected lightly.” Good for you, Courtney.
8. Courtney is so wet on the boat, let’s everyone know
I’m not even going to dignify that moment with commentary.
7. Blakeley made a weird scrapbook/vision board
Does anyone else remember the last Vision Board Girl? It didn’t end well that time, either.
And we were definitely cheering when Blakeley got sent home after making a scene about going on a 2-0n-1 date in front of poor Rachel. TEAM RACHEL!!!
6. Courtney gets all local native on us
5. Courtney tells everyone that she’s “being stolen away”
Thanks for rubbing it in, Courtney. No one cares that he’s still mesmerized by your t**s.
4. Jamie is creepy
Rule #1: If you’re not a slut, don’t try to be a slut.
Also, I don’t think that dress was meant for straddling.
3. Casey S. has the most awkward cry ever
Someone please turn it off. I can’t watch.
2. Courtney might be going home – just kidding
Honestly, this girl is so over the top disrespectful, even I don’t think it’s funny (and I love train wrecks). I know Courtney’s not here to make friends, but what does she think Ben’s family is going to think when they see this episode? Think ahead, sweetheart. They’re gonna hate you if he’s dumb enough to pick you. And for those of you who think she’s getting the “Michelle Money” editing treatment, I completely disagree. Michelle was definitely spun to be more off-the-wall and aggressive than we saw later in interviews, but she would never say the awful things Courtney has said this season.
and the #1 moment is…
1. Courtney frolics in the pool – may as well be topless
Once again, I still hate you.
BONUS VICTORY MOMENT – BEN CAN’T SEEM TO FIND ROOM 1611:
Posted by Danielle
Well we’re just about halfway through the season, and it’s time for an update on the Fantasy Bachelor League! You can always keep up with the scores here.
Congrats to the following people who are currently tied for 1st place with 800 points!
Tami B.
Tammy H.
Maury H.
Amanda H.
Kristi R.
If you’d like to get in on the action, be sure to join next season by week 1. We’ll post more details here before the next season starts.
Posted by Mary
“It was also established in San Francisco that contestant Samantha [Levey] had fallen for producer Bennett Graebner. Nothing physical ever happened between the two, but Samantha told producers she didn’t want to be there anymore because she had feelings for someone else, somehow they convinced her to stay another episode, and that was that. I am not sure if this storyline will ever make air because Bennett is married with kids, but hey, it sure made for some good dirt. So whatever BS reason they show for Samantha leaving in Utah, just know it’s because of that.”
-Reality Steve
Looks like someone pulled a Rozlyn!
Posted by Danielle
While this post is titled “Top 10 Moments of The Bachelor,” it could have easily been titled “More Reasons Why I Hate Courtney (and a few other awkward moments of this episode).” Let’s get to it.
10. Malibu Barbie is highly emotional, sent home early.
In an odd 1-on-1 conversation, Samantha asks where her relationship is going with Ben, and he calls her “highly emotional” and sends her home early. I was totally bummed because Samantha was actually one of my favorite people on this season. According to Reality Steve, there is some speculation about her having an affair with a married producer, but I think she’s too sweet. Anyway, if it’s true, it would definitely be a good explanation of why Ben was so heartless when letting her go.
9. Emily gets her roots did by Blakeley.
If I had to trust someone with doing my roots in the house, I don’t think Blakeley would be my first choice. Just sayin’.
8. Blakeley is ghetto, dance moves support this theory.
Stomping. Not necessarily the sexiest dance move.
7. Emily outs Courtney, Ben’s penis overrules.
Poor Emily. She had good intentions by wasting her precious one-on-one time with Ben to let him know that Courtney is not here for the right reasons, and is a bit two-faced. As a token of thanks, Ben tells Emily this will end in her own demise. As Patti Stanger would say, Ben’s picker is a bit off.
6. Casey S. wins the Dumbest Girl in the House Award.
It pains me to say this, considering us Kansas girls tend to stick up for one another. But Casey – seriously…. Courtney is the most generous person in the house? Did the producers pay you a ton of money to stick up for her? (hey, $5k can definitely cover a down payment on a house in Kansas). We don’t blame you, but COME. ON.
5. Courtney refuses to say “yes” or “of course.”
Listen sweetheart, when Ben asks you if you will accept this rose, saying, “I do” isn’t sending him some cryptic subliminal message that you’re the one. It’s cheesy and lame. I hate you.
4. You guys have got it all wrong – Courtney is a nice person.
I’m willing to hear people out if they have a differing opinion, but Courtney trying to convince us she’s actually nice? Laughable. Especially after this epic quote: “I’m a nice person, don’t f*** with me. I want to shave her eyebrows off.” You’re right – we’ve got it all wrong about you.
3. Courtney is better than you, Part I. She’s had a lot of boyfriends.
The reason this whole experience is so difficult for Courtney is not because she has such strong feelings for Ben, but in fact it’s because she’s “always had boyfriends” and she’s not used to being with a lot of girls all the time. Wasn’t she just complaining a few weeks ago about how no guys in LA are worthy of her attention? What boyfriends is she even talking about?
2. Courtney is still better than you, Part II. She was just in Puerto Rico.
What kind of ungrateful, spoiled brat would dare blurt out to Ben that she was just in Puerto Rico 2 months ago? How, HOW, can he still not see this??
1. Courtney failed to anticipate that the Charlie Sheen jokes wouldn’t be funny by the time this season aired.
Hey Courtney, the whole “WINNING” thing isn’t funny anymore. Apparently while on your mini-vacation away from Twitter and the rest of society, you’ve failed to realize that the whole Charlie Sheen thing was only funny for about 24 hours. You lose.
That is all. Stay tuned for more reasons why I hate Courtney, guaranteed to be an ongoing theme this entire season.
BONUS MOMENT: Ben can ride horses.
